New Year and All that Hoorah

It’s interesting to me how anti-climactic the end of the year is when you’re not making an effort to celebrate the typical end of the year holidays. Most people reflect on their accomplishments or lack thereof as the year draws to an end and all I can really think of is how empty the house seems. Even with three people residing here, the lack of laughter, hell even crying is a constant reminder of the fact that time is not standing still and I am only getting older.

I could sit here and make a resolution to get pregnant but the truth is, that’s not really up to me or G-d as so many people like to say. G-d does not have a plan for me and even if he did, he’s a sadistic son-of-a-bitch and I’d rather not rely on him for anything. If I offended your religion, I won’t apologize because I’m offended when people think saying, “G-d has a plan for you.” is helpful. G-d can take his plan and shove it right up his ass for all I care. Rottenecards_9640813_8jmxfsqfz5

The fact that people seem to be okay with a G-d dictating their lives is something I’ll never understand. While I may not be able to control everything, this infertility bullshit being one of them, I’d like to think that for the most part, where I go, what I do, and how I end up is mostly up to me. I’d like to think others would feel the same but apparently that’s not the case. *facepalm*

In any event, diagnostic treatment resumes again next month with a replenished FSA1 and HRA2, none of which will cover treatments 100% but at least it’s a start. In the meantime, I’m looking for a job and I’ve set up a GoFund Me account in hopes that we can get a few donations to offset some of the cost of treatment.

Eventually, if I’m not able to find a job within the field I have the skills for, I’ll probably fall back to customer service or technical support because at least it’s an income. I’m not above nor will I ever be above making minimum wage. Did I ever consider that I’d have to start over, given all my experience? No, but money is money and you do what you have to do.

In any event, if you’d like to donate to help with our treatments, I would sincerely and truly appreciate it. If I was certain we’d be able to afford the costs with my return to work, believe me I wouldn’t ask but I’m a realistic individual; even with me working full-time, there is just no way that we can afford all of this, how I wish we could.

  1. Flexible spending account
  2. Health reimbursement account.

5 Responses to New Year and All that Hoorah

  1. I think people say that ‘God has a plan’ to others because they feel it justifies what one is feeling. I find it as frustrating and annoying as the ‘just don’t think about it and ___’ — as if it will resolve whatever problem or feeling or situation is current.

    I hope you’re able to raise enough money soon! I wish I could help out, but I don’t really have anything to spend right now. :x Good luck! <3
    Liz recently posted… 2/3 Through Christmas HolidayMy Profile

  2. Everyone is different when it comes to religion and stuff. That’s why if I am not sure of a person’s religious status, I avoid the topic. It’s the individual who really leads their own life given the circumstances.

    I hope your fertility treatment will go through as you wanted. Good luck with finding a job and getting some money to make things happen. You always have options and you gotta do what you gotta do. I wish you the best of luck and don’t give up! Keep fighting for your dreams and show everyone who’s boss! :)

  3. I’ve always thought people who relied on “God” for anything and everything were just lazy assholes. They expect some magical man in the sky to take care of their problems for them and blah blah blah. I’m with you 100% on that. I never really celebrate the holidays either, just take part in the festivities from whichever side of the family we’re nearest that time of the year.

    Good luck with your money-raising. I know words won’t fill your wallets, but it’s all I can offer right now. Maybe one day soon, as I am currently looking for any kind of job as well, I’ll be able to help contribute to you finding your happiness that you want and need so badly. :)
    Andrea recently posted… Holidays etc.My Profile

Leave a reply

CommentLuv badge

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.