The Lucky One

Many men who meet me are instantly attracted to my no bullshit, honest attitude. I can troll just as easily as they can and they appreciate being able to have a female among them that is not easily offended or overly sensitive. A lot of men tell R he is lucky to have me but quite honestly when you get right down to the grit of it, I am the lucky one. love you

The Truth Is…

I am not an easy person to love.

I am stubborn, bullheaded, and uncompromising. I can be emotional, illogical, and irrational. I am, on my best days, my own worst enemy.

I have more flaws then I’d like to admit and even more idiosyncrasies that make caring about me, loving me, an impossible task, and yet despite all that R continues to see something worthy in me, something I doubt I will ever understand.

As with everyone, I have my fair share of bad days, though lately there have been more than fewer and far between. I struggle to find value in myself when despite the fact I’ve been married nearly a decade, friends who recently just got married are having children and seem to have direction in their life; yet here I sit, a full-time student at 28, no kids, no job (starts Monday), and no real way to find meaning beyond being a wife.

Lucky Stroke I love my husband and while there are times when being a wife is challenging, I do love being his wife. Still, while being a husband is certainly a part of him, and he is in the same boat with me in terms of being married nearly a decade and still not having kids, he is able to find direction in his work, while I sit here and whittle away.

And while I understand that having kids is not ultimately what will define me, many people don’t have them and seem to get on just fine, I recognize that it was one of the things early on that I knew would. So here I am freshly 28 wondering what’s left for me if kids are removed from the equation…


I am the lucky one.

3 Responses to The Lucky One

  1. A decade? Wow. How long were you together before you got married?

    I have known a couple girls who were infertile, one was told that she would never have babies and that there was nothing they could do. She now has beautiful girls and the doctors don’t know how she did it. Another friend had to go to doctors and do all of that, but now has an amazing daughter. I’m sure you will be an amazing mom when you have children just based on how bad you want it. Maybe that’s how you are defined, a mother without any children yet.
    Sean recently posted… Closing PostponedMy Profile

    • We were together 2 years prior to getting married. Our 7 year marriage anniversary is in July, making it a total of 9 years for us, so when our 10 year marriage anniversary comes up, we’ll have been together a total of 12 years. *mind blown* Lol.
      Ang recently posted… The Lucky OneMy Profile

  2. Men are usually straight forward with their opinions without sugarcoating it (most of the time). When women are flexible with the way they interact, it’s easy to get along with men because there’s no worry about sensitivty going around.

    It is great that R is there to comfort and support you every step of the way! You both have been together for almost a decade, I think that’s a successful relationship already. The love connection between the both of you is strong so let nothing be a barrier between the both of you. Having or not having children doesn’t define anyone. There are plenty of things out there; perhaps you will come up with a great innovative idea that will make you the next powerful and influential CEO!

    Take care!

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