Being A Mom = A Loss of Self?

I’ve been having a back and forth discussion with myself on whether or not I want to keep The Baby Project; given how far I have fallen behind on it. The initial plan was to use that as my infertility blog1, to talk about the journey and the trials associated with trying to get pregnant via IVF, but as time went on I found that I was always falling behind. Due to the treatments and the side effects of all of the medications, I didn’t have the drive nor the motivation to truly write about my journey, so rather than fake it, I decided I would just let things die and now I’m at a crossroad.

I could continue on with it, do a series of posts to catch up to where we are now, and then continuing to use it to document my life as a new mother or I could let it die next year and transfer all the contents here. Both options sound appealing in their own ways but I don’t know if I have the desire or drive to maintain two blogs. I’m not as young and idealistic as I used to be.

A lot of people have this aversion to being considered a “mommy blogger” or having their personal blog shift to mommy blogging and while I can definitely understand where they are coming from, for me, I just don’t care. Because guess what?

I AM A MOM.

Being A Good Mom And with that territory comes the knowledge and the understanding that I will discuss my children and my life as a mom on my personal blog. What’s the point of it being personal if you feel the need to limit the content that you write about, especially personal content about the life you live day in and day out? Plus, it doesn’t mean that will be the ONLY thing that I discuss. I still have hobbies and interests outside of being a mom. The key and something I think I will have to learn is finding a way to balance being a mom and being an individual. It’s not impossible and it’s one of my main goals for the new year.

Find that balance. Hold on to a piece of my individual self, even when everyone and everything is constantly dragging me in the direction of “You’re a mom now” and everything else is secondary.

Well, I disagree, I am and always have been multi-faceted. I am a wife, but I’m also an individual who enjoys web design and development, gaming, reading, interior design, etc., and I plan to do everything I can to ensure that doesn’t change.

My one and only resolution for the New Year is not to lose myself as I jump feet first in to the waters of parenthood.

When it comes to being a mom or just balancing the multiple roles you have; what techniques do you employ? Are they effective?


In light of my commitment to ensure I don’t lose a piece of myself as I transition to being a mom, I have taken up planning;. Admittedly, I’m still trying to find my grove and find time to consistently plan, but I did find that when I was planning consistently, it helped to keep me motivated and on task. With that in mind, I’d like to invite you to join me on this journey and have decided to conduct a giveaway!

2016 Happy Planner Giveaway

MAMBI Happy Planner

Me & My Big Ideas 2016 Happy Planner

Rules, Terms, & Giveaway Information

  • The giveaway is open to US entries ONLY except where prohibited by law unless otherwise noted. No purchase is necessary. The prize(s) and value of the prize(s) are listed above. All prizes will be awarded.
  • You must be 13 years or older to participate.
  • The giveaway will begin on Monday, December 21, 2015 at 12:00am MST(AZ) and will end on Sunday, December 27, 2015 at 11:59pm MST(AZ)
  • The winner will be announced on Monday, December 28, 2015 at 10:00am MST(AZ)
  • The winner has 48 hours to respond or a new winner will be chosen.
  • The planner will be shipped out as timely as possibly, however I ask that you please allow up to 2-4 weeks for prize delivery after confirmation.
  1. And hopefully, eventually about parenthood and my adventures as a mom.

21 Responses to Being A Mom = A Loss of Self?

  1. Huh, that’s very interesting. I never really thought of it since I’ve never had experience with motherhood. Motherhood is a beautiful experience, and becomes a part of who you are, but definitely doesn’t erase who you were before motherhood! Excellent point. Kudos to you for being able to keep everything in balance and keep everything in perspective :) As with everything in life, a balance really is the best solution. I try to keep a balance when I notice I’m straying too far off one end and see it affecting me negatively. Thanks for hosting a fancy giveaway! Entering now :)
    Kim recently posted… Winter Break is Here!My Profile

  2. I don’t think you should loss yourself as a person, and as a blogger when you become a mom. I think most women find it natural or feel like they have to make their children a priority in everything that they do. And while yes, children become your number one priority, you shouldn’t have to stop doing what you love just because you have kids. If you don’t want your blog to become primarily a ‘mommy’ blog, it doesn’t have to.

    You don’t have to lose yourself. I think you’re doing a great job of finding that balance, and no matter how you transform your blog, I will definitely keep reading :)

    • There’s actually an article I read that you shouldn’t make your children your first priority, at least in the sense that it shouldn’t be a priority over your marriage. Back in the day, that wasn’t the case and a lot of couples would stay together but now a days, all you hear is that your children come first and as a result, your marriage suffers because you stop trying to find the time to do things with your spouse or lose yourself as an individual to the concept of being a mom. The article also stated that what your children need most from you is to see mom and dad in love with a good marriage and I tend to agree. Of course we love our children but at the end of the day, if we do not make ourselves or our marriage a priority we are doing an injustice to our children and that’s something I definitely want to avoid.
      Angie recently posted… Being A Mom = A Loss of Self?My Profile

      • That makes sense. I think it’s about finding that balance with everything, not losing yourself, not losing the “us” aspect in your relationship/marriage, while still being a mother. Keeping that balance will definitely help because your children will be able to see that as they get older.

        I applaud you for being so knowledgeable about this topic. I know people very close to me that had their relationship suffer immensely when they had children and eventually led to a divorce, I know it’s more common than we think. You already have a good idea of the outcomes and statistics. And while each person creates their own path, I think it’s great to be aware.

        :)
        Nicole recently posted… Extra Life 30 Day Video Challenge – Day 18 – Aftershock 2015My Profile

  3. It will probably work out really well if you decide to combine that blog to this one. This is your personal space and you write about what matters and is important to you. I think it could also be a really interesting insight as well, for people to see that you can be a mom and you can still pursue other interests and be an individual who has the ability to do other things as well.

    The giveaway sounds really cool. I am sure the winner will really love it. :D You can never have enough stationery hehe.
    Kya recently posted… A brief message from my cats…My Profile

  4. You know, it’s funny because I went from an overly cynical tone with Crestfallen, but then when I changed my domain name, around the same time I found out that I was pregnant, I went into documenting stuff as a first-time mom. It took a while for me to find myself again on my blog. Yes, I never lost myself per se as a person. I still had hobbies (for the most part), but I couldn’t find a balance. I think that might be normal for the first year or so.

    After that, the balance comes a little easier as the kids get older. They’re still as cute, they’re still as sassy. But now I feel like I can be…me again too.
    Nat Marie recently posted… Obligatory Thanksgiving Post, Complete with Turkey!My Profile

  5. every day at work i make a “short term list” that i can tackle that day. that cuts down on cramming everything for the weekend when i want to relax. it’s working pretty well so far.

    • I completely understand. While I still write things in my calendar on my phone, I found that when that was all I used, I was easily able to ignore it because I wasn’t invested in the time I spent adding it to my calendar. Having a planner changes things a bit because I went through the effort of actually writing it down and making things pretty, lol.
      Angie recently posted… Being A Mom = A Loss of Self?My Profile

  6. I’m still working on ways to balance my time. I like to write things out and stay on a schedule (as much as I can with a toddler).

  7. I come and go from planning/planners… I think after a while of going “I don’t need a planner/organizer!” I realized that my life is spiraling out of control because I’m all over the place, and I need to use a planner to re-organize and re-orient myself… Thus I love planners because they allow me to be much more goal-oriented and organized with my life and plans. :)

    And I think having a personal blog would DEFINITELY involve having your mommy moments on it… You’re you. But you will be a mom. People generally don’t make a “personal blog” and consciously feel like having to keep out their work/school/relationship (unless it’s for privacy reasons), and given being a mom is a HUGE part of you, I feel like your readers would be very excited to read about your journey. :)

    (I’ve been off the blogisphere for a while, but back when I fell off, you were still trying to conceive, so I was super excited to learn that you have… Congratulations again…. ^_^)
    Hiro recently posted… My Mindset Challenge for PositivityMy Profile

  8. I’ve been having a similar issue with my blog lately. I had to switch domains again because They Who Shall Not Be Named found me, and then I just never anything back up… I’m actually trying to work on it right now and having a hell of a time coming up with a layout that I don’t hate. -_-

    I totally understand where you’re coming from as far as losing yourself when you become a mom. I was very scared of that too, and can only assume that fear would increase with multiple babies. I think I’ve done a pretty good job of balancing myself out – at least as much as I can as a single mom with no real help. I think you will too once you get into the swing of things, and planners definitely help with that. :)

    I am so freaking excited for you, dude. I don’t think we’ve actually talked since you leaked the news, but I know I’ve left a few comments here and there to try to tell you – I love you, and I’m so happy for you. You’re going to be an incredible mama and if you need anything, whether it’s an ear to listen at 3am, or hand-me-down onesies, let me know. I’ll help in any way I can. <3

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