Waiting On A Sign of Things to Come

Waiting On A Sign of Things to Come

Life lately has been all about pumping. I’m pumping every two hours during the day and then every 3 hours at night all in an effort to increase my supply. Basically my life is either babies or breasts, breasts, breasts and not in the good way. Sorry, fellows.

Still despite how tiring it is and how little sleep I am getting, I am noticing an increase in what I’m yielding each day and that helps to keep me going. Some days, I just want to say screw it, I’d rather sleep but I know ultimately this is going to save us money in the long run and we don’t have the luxury right now to be frivolous with money, especially when it helps us to save.

reasons R is feeling the pressure of getting a job every day and I wish there was something I could do to help and console him. I know it’s killing him and I hate seeing him this way but it’s not like he isn’t trying. He’s submitting job applications every day and talking and meeting with people both in person and on the phone without results and it’s draining him. I see it and I hate that I can’t do anything to make it better. I just keep hoping and praying that the next day will be the day but that will only go so far. Worst case scenario is we take on a roommate to help offset the mortgage while he’s looking and of course I should be expecting some pay with maternity leave, though it’s not nearly enough to support us. I really need to start picking up some freelancing gigs so I can offset some of the costs of our bills, even it just covers small things, I think it will go a long way.

I’m also looking at changing my hosting. Right now I’m on a dedicated server and have been for years. While, I love the options it affords, it’s money that can be spent elsewhere. I haven’t yet broached the topic with R yet because I know it’ll upset him. He’ll tell me I should keep it but logically it just doesn’t make sense to. I mean, don’t get me wrong, it’d be a shame to have to say goodbye, but without help to offset the costs from other interested parties in having access to a dedicated server, it just doesn’t make sense for me to keep up with it, and while that sucks, supporting our family is much more important. I’ll talk to him about it tonight and see what he has to say, though as I said, I have a good idea of what that is going to be.

Despite all the stress, the job hunt is causing, I am still so in love with our family. He thinks that I just say we will be okay just to say it, but somehow deep down, I do truly believe it. Everything happens for a reason, we’re just waiting to find out what.

2 Responses to Waiting On A Sign of Things to Come

  1. The breastfeed, supplement if necessary, pump, repeat is SOOO draining. You are amazing.

    I do not blame you for trying to find ways to save money and cutting out things that while you love having them, know aren’t something you need. Rob and Jeremy sound a lot a like in how they would respond when broached with the topic.

    I hope that his job hunt yields the results he desires soon.

    If there is anything specific I or Jeremy can do to help please shoot me a message and I will see how I can accomplish it.
    Desiree recently posted… Cleaning NarniaMy Profile

    • It is exhausting and there are days when I’m just like I’m done, I can’t do this anymore. I feel bad because it’s definitely cutting into any time that R and I could possibly spend together because I’m pumping every 2 hours during the day and then every 3 during the early morning so I’m losing out on sleeping solidly for multiple hours a at time. As a result, I’m dead on my feet all day and end up napping for 45 mins to an hour between the times I’m not pumping. I definitely see how and why some mothers decide to say screw breastfeeding and stick with formula. I don’t think I’d be able to do this if my MIL wasn’t here to help with the babies during the day.

      One of the reasons I haven’t talked to him about the hosting thing is because I know one of the arguments he will use is tied to a side business thing he’s started to implement. The websites are hosted on the server and I know he’s going to use that as a reason to not cancel the account. I tried to get back into paid blogging to help offset some of the costs but that’s proving to be fruitless. I get one or two tasks at best every couple of weeks which isn’t nearly enough to supplement the cost of the server.If I can pick up some freelance jobs that may help.

      I appreciate the offer for assistance. If there’s anything I can think of, I’ll let you know!
      Angie recently posted… Well Checkup & Black Desert OnlineMy Profile

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