On Being Necessarily Selfish

On Being Necessarily Selfish

The past couple of weeks have been quite trying. It’s been a wonder that we’ve kept our sanity. Tempe has been having some really bad gas issues of late that it’s resulted in continued screaming, fussiness, and inability to sleep. For a time gas drops worked in soothing her but even that become ineffective and I finally gave in and scheduled an appointment with her pediatrician on Tuesday. In the meantime, we’ve pulled her off breast milk completely and she is currently on Gerber’s hypoallergenic formula, which seems to be helping, but then so did the gas drops so we’re not sure how long that will hold up. I’m hoping indefinitely and as she gets older, we can start to add breast milk back into her diet, but for now we will wait to see what the pediatrician will say.

On top of that, Ty seems to have developed thrush. It doesn’t seem to be bothering him, except he isn’t as willing to take his pacifier, but otherwise he appears fine. I have to call on Monday to see if thy can fit Ty in during Tempe’s exam so he can get a prescription for anti-fungal medication. He is also off breast milk for the time being since it’s an overabundance of antibodies that is causing thrush. Hopefully, we get them all settled in the coming week and their disposition approves.

sometimes-i-forget-putting-myself-first-isnt-being-selfish-quote-1 We are also currently in the midst of trying out a feeding schedule for the sprats. We’re still adjusting to make it work for us but once my mother-in-law leaves, that means we’ll have both babies at night and if they’re not on some sort of schedule that would leave us open to being up all night if one baby is consistently waking up while the other sleeps, or if they’re just waking up at different times from the other. So far it’s been challenging but we’re determined to make it work and stick with it. Funnily enough, I don’t have the “can’t stand to listen to a baby screaming” response, which I think is partly because I don’t have a choice, when there’s only one of us, one of them will have to cry as the other is being tended to.

Other than that, my life has essentially just been all about the babies. I’ve tried to take some time to myself but find it difficult to do so and feel guilty when I leave the tending to my mother-in-law and R. I think R and I should discuss times when he’ll have time to play and when I will, because as it stands he gets most of it and I start to feel a little resentful. It’s not his fault, he helps A LOT, but it happens nonetheless.

For those with partners, what did you find worked best for you when trying to balance your time alone, time together, and time spent taking care of the kids?

4 Responses to On Being Necessarily Selfish

  1. It’s honestly hard enough with one baby so two must be absolutely horrific at times. I still, 8 years later, feel guilty when I have a selfish day – like today – but I’d be so frazzled without taking time for myself. IT’s so necessary once in a while
    Elia recently posted… Peace and QuietMy Profile

  2. I can only imagine what it would be like to have one baby let alone two! I do not know how you do it, so for sure props to you and your husband for staying sane. My boyfriend and I have a puppy who still requires attentions so it is just a lot of switching back and forth and just being respectful of when one of us needs a break. I wish you the best of luck!
    Ashley recently posted… Well Hello ThereMy Profile

  3. My best advice is to speak up. If you need help, ask for it. Guys tend not to see the obvious and occasionally need a reminder that hey, there’s a lot to do and I need to do me for just a bit. I have to do it with Randy now and the kids are 3 and 6. I just come out and say take over parenting I’m going to do schoolwork or make dinner or play farmville or whatever else.

    • R is actually pretty good at trying to give me my own time. He frequently takes the babies out during the weekend to give me a few hours to myself. I am so great that he is so invested and involved in their lives because I know of other parents where that isn’t the case. Now don’t get me wrong, sometimes he has his moments where he spaces out but for the most part he’s wonderful. I am super lucky.
      Angie recently posted… Surviving the First YearMy Profile

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