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I’ve been having a back and forth discussion with myself on whether or not I want to keep The Baby Project; given how far I have fallen behind on it. The initial plan was to use that as my infertility blog1, to talk about the journey and the trials associated with trying to get pregnant via IVF, but as time went on I found that I was always falling behind. Due to the treatments and the side effects of all of the medications, I didn’t have the drive nor the motivation to truly write about my journey, so rather than fake it, I decided I would just let things die and now I’m at a crossroad.
I could continue on with it, do a series of posts to catch up to where we are now, and then continuing to use it to document my life as a new mother or I could let it die next year and transfer all the contents here. Both options sound appealing in their own ways but I don’t know if I have the desire or drive to maintain two blogs. I’m not as young and idealistic as I used to be.
A lot of people have this aversion to being considered a “mommy blogger” or having their personal blog shift to mommy blogging and while I can definitely understand where they are coming from, for me, I just don’t care. Because guess what?
And with that territory comes the knowledge and the understanding that I will discuss my children and my life as a mom on my personal blog. What’s the point of it being personal if you feel the need to limit the content that you write about, especially personal content about the life you live day in and day out? Plus, it doesn’t mean that will be the ONLY thing that I discuss. I still have hobbies and interests outside of being a mom. The key and something I think I will have to learn is finding a way to balance being a mom and being an individual. It’s not impossible and it’s one of my main goals for the new year.
Find that balance. Hold on to a piece of my individual self, even when everyone and everything is constantly dragging me in the direction of “You’re a mom now” and everything else is secondary.
Well, I disagree, I am and always have been multi-faceted. I am a wife, but I’m also an individual who enjoys web design and development, gaming, reading, interior design, etc., and I plan to do everything I can to ensure that doesn’t change.
My one and only resolution for the New Year is not to lose myself as I jump feet first in to the waters of parenthood.
When it comes to being a mom or just balancing the multiple roles you have; what techniques do you employ? Are they effective?
In light of my commitment to ensure I don’t lose a piece of myself as I transition to being a mom, I have taken up planning;. Admittedly, I’m still trying to find my grove and find time to consistently plan, but I did find that when I was planning consistently, it helped to keep me motivated and on task. With that in mind, I’d like to invite you to join me on this journey and have decided to conduct a giveaway!
This post has been a long time coming but with everything that’s been going on, R’s health issues, death in the family, Thanksgiving, etc. it’s not been high on the priority list. I spent the whole of November getting the house in order for Thanksgiving which included dinner for 21 people and absolutely 0 time on my desktop. In short, life has been insane.
As many of you know, R and I have been actively going through fertility treatments, specifically IVF to try to conceive. We both have our own share of issues but it was mainly MFI1 due to low sperm count, testosterone issues, and mild retrograde ejaculation. Basically, it means we CAN get pregnant but it would be immensely difficult for us to do so.
2014 was the year all of this was discovered as we finally had insurance that covered treatment and it took us the whole of the year to truly process the information. I had always suspected something must be wrong, nearly 10 years together without a single pregnancy is kind of indicative of that, but it wasn’t until I stopped menstruating for 3 months, with every test popping up negative when we decided it was time to find out for sure. All I can say for those in similar situations, teetering on indecision and fear, the sooner you know, the better. Time is of the essence and contrary to what they would like you to believe, there really isn’t enough of it.
We took a break in 2014 after discovering our issues and didn’t resume treatment until the beginning of this year. We went through a fresh cycle2 at the end of March which resulted in a chemical pregnancy3 and then R ended up back in the hospital for pericarditis which left very little time to process or deal with the loss, though on some level I understood that these things happen, and nature did what it was meant to, terminate a pregnancy that would not be viable.
Despite all that, we decided to jump right into our next cycle under the premise that if necessary, we would stop the cycle since all of our embryos are frozen and there was no obligation to continue since they did not have me on stims4. It wasn’t something we shared with anyone. We kept it to ourselves because we didn’t know what would happen, whether this round would be successful, and honestly the stress of so many people wanting to know everything but not necessarily willing to understand the process was too much for both of us. As much as I wanted to be open and honest about our journey, and while I tried to some extent, I wasn’t successfully in continuing and I learned that I’m perfectly okay with that.