Sleep deprivation isn’t getting any easier and with both babies in the midst of a growth spurt, let’s just say life in the Beckman household has been hell. I still am not quite sure how R is managing to function without a single nap during the day, but then I imagine that’s probably a result of the fact that he’s not getting up to pump in the middle of the night so his sleep isn’t as broken. Who knows? What I do know is I appreciate him taking the babes during the day so I can at least get one nap in. I’ve offered to take the kids so he can sleep but he’s stubborn and continually refuses. I don’t think he can go on much longer the way he is and suspect very soon we’ll have another day when he crashes around 5 in the afternoon, only to wake up around 9 at night to recharge. I just wish he wasn’t so stubborn.
I think, as much as we will probably loathe ourselves for saying this once they’re older, we are ready for the newborn phase to end. With the kids only sleeping in 2-3 hour chunks per night, I sometimes wonder why we even bother. They seem to sleep better AND longer during the day so I wonder if it just makes sense to adapt my schedule. R obviously can’t as he needs to be awake during the day for job hunting purposes, but I think I could probably modify my pumping schedule to work for being up all night.
It’s something worth discussing, I suppose, though it would mean we’d have absolutely no time to spend with each other and I know that bothers him A LOT. I just keep counting the days until we hit that 2-month mark, where there should hopefully be a marked changed. We will see.
I know that recently my blogs have all been about parenting, motherhood, and surviving the twinpocalypse. In essence, I’ve become a “mommy blogger” and while I know that many HATE those kinds of blogs, all I have to say is, tough. Presently this is the only method I have of an emotional dump that doesn’t involve crying my eyes out and completely shutting down so that I’m of no use to my kids and husband, so #sorrynotsorry. Funnily enough, it doesn’t bother me as much as I thought it would. Hopefully, soon, very soon, I’ll have a bit more to blog about that doesn’t stem completely from the motherhood side of things, but for now, I’m getting from my blog what I’ve so desperately missed in the last couple of years: release.